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Please share my experience with other young
people so their lives won't be as hellish as mine. At age 12 my Dad
sexually molested me for several months. When I was a freshmen I went away
to a private school, but I got expelled for going off campus with guys from
town. I don't have to tell you what happened with these guys -- the
ULTIMATE MISTAKES OF MY LIFE! Then I went to live with my real mom who left
me when I was three. It had been 12 years since Id even seen her. She let
me have my freedom. I never came home before 4:00 a.m. on weekends. I was
15 years old, remember!!! I went out with a lot of guys and they all got
what they wanted. Wham bam, thank you, maam. Eight guys iin one year and
none of them was a serious boyfriend. Then I went to live with an aunt and
uncle. They sent me to public school for the first time and I got into real
deep trouble. I started hanging around with the wrong crowd and going out
with guys who stole cars and got their jollies from beating girls. Why I'll
never know. So I got sent back to private school again. Now I'm doing
okay, but nobody seems to want me. I wonder if anyone has ever wanted me
around. I am struggling with letting Christ into my life. I attended your
SMART LOVE SEMINAR and your really got me to thinking about what I want from
my life. I need your prayers. Liz
* * * *
An English teacher required students attending a
SMART LOVE SEMINAR to write down thoughts about the seminar in essay form.
Here's one such essay.
THE SMART LOVE SEMINAR sounded semi-interesting,
but after attending the first four lessons, it wasn't bad at all. In fact,
I can honestly say I learned a few things I didn't know about dating before
-- things I hadn't even considered! The seminar has given me a different
slant on issues that I never took time to think about until it actually
happened and then I didn't know the correct procedures on how to "break up"
-- how to do it right as opposed to the wrong way which most people do out
of habit.
Yeah, I made fun of, sneered, thought the
seminar would be insane, a bunch of CRAP! But Nancy tells it like it is.
The facts--no sermons, just the do's and don'ts in a manner of speaking.
Just down to earth, realistic FACTS. I thought I knew it all. Sure, I knew
there were differences between guys and girls, but how the different sexes
respond to different situations or how one wants something for one reason
while the other wants it for another. Things like why we act the way we do,
and why men do things and are affected by certain stimuli where as certain
things don't affect girls the same way and not as quick.
The different stages of dating, breaking
up, how to handle situations, learning how to cope and respond to people who
hurt you, or the other way around. So far, it's showed me a lot of things
to do differently and make a few amends on some issues. I am slightly wiser
today than I was yesterday. I can honestly say I am interrested and will
read the SMART LOVE book and become a better person. I want to learn how to
find a good partner for marriage too. The danger signs in a relationship
were interesting to me and how to mend relationships. Step by step
instruction for successful dating. Friendship is important. Successful
marriages.
Nancy brings out how religion and God all
determine goals in marriage and dating. Never thought there was so much to
learn about dating and how to be happy! Now I'm looking forward to
marriage, especially with Miss Right! The fact that I learned all these
principles will help me pick out a compatible partner which will make me
happy. Sophomore student
* * * *
After a recent seminar I returned to the boy's
dorm near midnight where a delegation of about 10 young men greeted me. One
18 year old said:
I can't tell you how timely this SMART LOVE
SEMINAR was for me. I've been on my own since I was 13. Last year I lived
with a girl. I chose to come to this school and graduate this year.
Because of this seminar I am changing my past values and am looking forward
to the future with confidence."
One young man kept pacing back and forth in
front of me and kept repeating: "I can't believe that the faculty actually
asked you to come here and say the things you did to us. "Allowed" you to
say the things you did! Even paid you to say the things you did! I can't
thank you enough for the SMART LOVE SEMINAR and the difference it is going
to make in my choices."
While in a distant city to present a SMART
LOVE SEMINAR, a mother called me at my motel. She wanted to know when I
was presenting "Close Encounters of A Dangerous Kind" My mind leaped to
the assumption that this was yet another parent trying to "protect" her
daughter from the facts. Not so. She wanted to make certain her
daughter WAS THERE! This mother told me that her 16 year old was having
sex with a boy despised by everyone for his arrogant, selfish and
uncaring manner. The mother went on: "I know my daughter is sexually
active but I don't know what to do about it. She is an honor student,
active in sports and a member of an award winning choir. She is not
rebellious in any other way. And I might as well tell you everything,"
Mom confided. "She has had an abortion. And I didn't learn about it
until long after the fact. She went to an abortion clinic, had the
abortion, and came home to rest. She was due for an extensive practice
session with her choir as they were preparing for a big concert. I
forced her to stand on her feet for hours the afternoon of the
abortion. If I'd only known . . . .I'm worried about my daughter. I
see no signs of remorse or guilt from having it. I don't want her to be
consumed by such feelings, but I do want her to feel sorry for what
she's done. Please see what you can do to help my daughter!"
I was speaking to grades 9 to 12 on SMART
DATING. One lively young man helped me earn my money. "If I told you
Dick and Jane had been 'intimate," I asked, "what would you assume about
Dick and Jane?" Our wise-cracking friend gleefully responded, "That
she's a slut!" Uproarous laughter followed. "SHE'S a slut?" I repeated
giving special emphasis to "she." "What does that make him?"
A hushed silence fell over the entire group
including our wise-cracking friend when the realization hit them that we
don't even have a word in the English language depicting a male slut!
Promiscuous males have no colorful label, but there are at least a half
dozen descriptive terms for females. Talk about a double standard!
Males must be impressed with the importance
of purity as strongly as we stress this message for our daughters.
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